


Bedeviled

by NotTasha



Category: The Magnificent Seven (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-19
Updated: 2015-09-19
Packaged: 2018-04-21 11:20:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4827167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NotTasha/pseuds/NotTasha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ezra, Buck, JD and Vin try harvesting honey.  It turns out about as well as you imagine</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bedeviled

**Author's Note:**

> RATING: PG for language and terribly terribly graphic and disgusting violence. Each of the guys ends up with several holes in him. Oh, the horror is too great to describe. Plus, they say a few naughty words. Those boys should really watch their mouths!  
> CATEGORY: Challenge - OW  
> MAJOR CHARACTERS: Everyone  
> DISCLAIMERS: This is fanfiction. No profit involved. This story is based on the television series "The Magnificent Seven". No infringement upon the copyrights held by CBS, MGM, Trilogy Entertainment Group, The Mirisch Corp. or any others involved with that production is intended.  
> NOTE: February 2002 Magnificent 7 Challenge Some of the seven guys are stuck on one side of a water way and some of the others are on the other side. For whatever reason, the one group refuses to cross the water and join the others, despite the fact bad guys can be heard bearing down on them.  
> DATE: Originally posted February 04, 2002

“Look out!”

“Run! Run! Run!”

“AHHHHH!!!”

“He got me! BASTARD! Damn!”

“OW! Ahh!”

“Keep runnin, JD! Hell, where’s Ez?

“Right behind you -- Ow!”

“Damn it, Vin! Get your ass out of my way!

“Screw you, Buck.”

“Ow!”

Chris Larabee leaped to his feet at the cries of his men. Nathan and Josiah stood beside him, guns drawn, looking anxiously in the direction of the pained calls, distant, but coming closer by the second. 

“Buck?” Chris shouted, hearing them tearing through the trees that lined the opposite side of the creek. “Vin?”

Larabee’s heart thudded in his chest. Damn it! The four had left about an hour ago, off to look for game. There shouldn’t have been any trouble here. Of course, with those four, trouble was always a possibility.

The screaming continued, growing closer. What the hell had happened? What was going on? He winced at their cries. They were being murdered! 

Chris ran to the side of the wide-but-shallow creek, ready to descend the bank. Lord help them!

He could see them now, streaking toward him through the brush. He raised his rifle, ready to protect. Nathan and Josiah stood beside him.

“What is it?” Josiah whispered.

“Don’t know,” Chris groaned. He hunched down, prepared for a hail of bullets to catch him. The four men ran as if the devil himself was at their tails.

“Look out!” Buck shouted.

Chris saw them flying as they leaped from the far bank of the stream and into the water. But instead of quickly wading across, they flopped into the inches-deep water. They splashed wetly.

“Muddy yerselfs up!” Vin shouted and the four men rolled and tossed in the shallow creek, looking more like hogs in a wallow than lawmen, looking more like migrating salmon then dangerous and multi-faceted gunslingers, looking a bit like slugs. The colors of their clothing disappeared under a layer of ooze, taking away any distinguishing characteristics.

“Ow!” the brown blob that was JD jerked and shouted, “It got me again!”

“Get down, JD! Get yerself down!” the dirt-colored, Buck-shaped being yelled as he slung handfuls of the slime onto Dunne.

“Lay still!” the muddy bit of stuff that might have been Vin declared.

“Lord help us,” the unfashionably filthy thing that couldn’t have been Ezra muttered.

His senses sharpened, Chris crept halfway down the bank with the other two close behind him, searching franticly for who had attacked his men. He saw no blood, but with all the mud, who could tell?

“Chris?” Nathan said softly. “What’s wrong? What's happening to them?”

Larabee furrowed his brow. “I aim to find out.” They’d stop thrashing about and now lay perfectly still, nothing but their muddy backs, the heels of their boots and the tops of their hats visible in the shallow water.

“Buck!” Larabee shouted to Wilmington. “Buck!”

Wilmington raised his head an inch and seemed shocked to see him there. Water and muck ran from his mustache. “Get in the water!” he yelled, ducking his head back again.

“What?” Nathan called back, looking at the four wet and muddy humps in the water. “Why?” He certainly didn’t want to join in the wallow.

“They’ll get you elsewise. Get in with us!”” Vin called before submerging his head again.

“What the hell are you all doing?” Chris lowered his yellowboy and shook his head. “I don’t see anyone or anything.”

“Can’t you hear ‘em?” JD managed to say, his voice trembling.

The three men listened. The little forest was silent except for the happy trickling of the creek. As Chris strained his ears he became aware of a droning noise, soft, monotonous and ominous.

“Bees,” Josiah muttered, his deep voice filled with awe.

Chris’ eyes searched the air above his men and suddenly he saw them. Black little bits swarmed around the muddy hillocks that dotted the stream. “Son of a bitch…”

The angry swarm was fanning out, and having lost the scent of their original quarry. They found another.

“Sweet Mother of God!” Josiah cried, seeing the insects close on them. His eyes went wide as he turned and scrambled up the bank like a bison gone mad.

Chris and Nathan were right behind him, running out of the small stand of trees and into the surrounding open country. They jumped and started, slapping and running as the angry insects followed them.

Vin raised his head from the stream, mud and water cascading from his hat as their tormenters left them. “Shouldn’t ‘ave run,” he declared. “They would’ve been fine in the water.”

Ezra sat up and looked about suspiciously. “They’ve fled?”

“I wouldn’t let Chris hear ya say that,” Buck said, giving Standish a sloppy slap on the back that made Ezra wince.

“Buck! Might I remind you that I’ve recently been horribly attacked?” Ezra moved stiffly.

“Sorry.” Buck grinned as he shook his head. He stopped abruptly to rub his own stung neck. “I was just sayin’ that you shouldn’t let Chris hear you sayin’ anythin’ about him fleein’.”

Ezra flicked his hands in a hopeless attempt to get clean. “I wasn’t speakin' of our illustrious leader.” He paused when he heard Chris yelp in the distance. “I was speakin' of the insidious creatures that put us in this situation.”

“Oh,” Vin said wistfully. “Once they get tired, those bees’ll head on home. It was good of Chris and Josiah and Nate to weary ‘em for us.”

In the distance, Sanchez yipped painfully followed by an uncharacteristic curse from Jackson.

Ezra listened, and sighed. “Tell me again, why in God's green earth did we do this?”

Vin smiled wisely. “Honey.”

Ezra gently touched a nasty welt on his wrist and glanced up at Vin. “Don’t you dare call me ‘honey’.”

The filled bucket had landed neatly beside Vin and when he pulled it free from the muck, it made a sucking sound. He set it on his lap and drove three fingers into the rich amber substance. He watched as the long strings of golden honey ran from his hand. “Ah, nothin’ like it.” He sucked his fingers loudly.

‘Mmmmm,” JD sighed, reaching into the mess and breaking off a piece of comb. “I haven’t had honey in ages.” He bit into the waxy form, feeling the sweetness of it down to his toes. “I thought you said this’d be easy.” He changed his position in the muddy creek to shift the weight off the bumps on his buns.

“Should‘ve been.” Vin shrugged philosophically. “Wasn’t.”

Buck, JD and Ezra seemed to accept the explanation.

In the distance, they could hear the other three swearing and shouting. The worst of their exclamations seemed to be over. Mostly they just heard declarations of an impending doom for the four of them.

The bees were giving up.

“They should‘ve gotten in the water,” Vin repeated his earlier sentiment.

“Their loss,” Buck commented, digging into the bucket for his share. He broke off a large section of the comb and held it up. The honey ran down his arm and he licked his hand.

After moment of consideration, Ezra pulled open his jacket and found a clean section of his shirt to wipe off his hand. Once he realized that there was little he could do, he joined in as well. Their fingers were filthy, but there were worse things in life than dirt in your honey. “They’ll kill us, you know,” he commented and stuffed his laden fingers into his mouth. He smiled as he tasted the wild treat.

“Yeah,” Vin agreed.

“That’d be a shame,” Buck commented.

“Uh-hmmm,” JD murmured.

"Damn shame," Vin uttered before he filled his mouth again.

The four of them leaned over bucket, making quiet satisfied sounds. They shared their ill-gotten gains until Chris, Josiah and Nathan returned. At that point, the sky fell, the stream exploded, honey was confiscated, people shouted and yelled and said things that they probably shouldn’t have. Things went rather badly after that.

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> Author's note: None of the guys were allergic to bee stings and they all recovered quite quickly from the insect attack. It took longer for them to recover from the attack that followed.


End file.
